Can tea be too good?

I walked past a group of boys today.  I know this might sound super pedo, but I was trying really hard to figure out how old they were.  I have this hidden talent where you can show me a picture of any boy or girl and I will extremely inaccurately tell you their age.  These kids could've been anywhere between 6 and 16 I have no idea, let's just say they were "like 12"...

Anyway, as I was walking past, one kid asked another kid a question.  Now, I didn't hear the question BUT I did hear the response, which was... "yea definitely bro, probably definitely for sure" and I cannot stop thinking about this...

I'm dying to know what dumbass thing they were talking about.  What kind of question do you ask a like 12yr old to get that response? "Yea definitely bro, probably definitely for sure". Wanna see my fortnite dance? Wanna go catch pokemon in the park? Wanna do lines in the bathroom?  I have no idea what kids are into these days...

I spent a long time in my brain making fun of these kids for talking that way.  Like dedicated a good portion of my morning to it ya know?  Then I started to realize, I'm no better, I don't use these words correctly either.  For example, if I say these words this is what I actually mean:

Definitely = Probably

Probably = I don't know

I don't know = I don't care

So the conversation might go something like this:

You: Are you coming to my party?

Me: Yea definitely

You: Is Jess coming?

Me: Uh probably

You: Is she vegan?

Me: I really don't know

So I don't want to be too hard on the kids ya know?  Shit I wish I could be a kid again.  It was nice being naive and stupid.  I remember when I thought $100 was A LOT of money.  Now I can't not spend $100.  I used to think people with nice cars were rich, I would think wow they must have a lot of money! Now I'm older and I think wow they must have a lot of debt!  So the moral of the story here ladies is find yourself a man with a '98 Corolla, he's rich bro definitely probably for sure...

--Silky Johnson

Staff Writer